In the Dark

 

In the Dark

Noel Laflin

8-10-22

When the movie Charly came to our local theater back in the fall of 1968, I remember calling a girl who had quietly followed me behind a church on our walk home from junior high one day, just a few months earlier, and helped school me in the art of kissing. After that, we practiced on several more occasions, progressively getting better, in my opinion anyway, which would eventually lead me to calling her months later regarding the movie.

Then we parted for the summer, as I would be away, and we stayed in touch by letter.  SWAK appeared on the back of envelopes and I was both happy and embarrassed when fellow adolescent mail call attendees caught sight of faint pink lipstick impressions below the acronym, and hooted with either pride or envy in my unlooked for accomplishment. I remember quietly pulling an older guy aside, trusting in his confidence, and asking what SWAK meant.  He laughed, and then saw that I was serious, so told me. I was all of fifteen and should have known better, I concluded at the time. But now I look back on my naiveté with both fondness, and sympathy.   

Autumn finally arrived and so did high school, something new for each of us, as she attended the newer modern one, and I, the older one, no thanks to district realignments.

But, once home from a summer in the mountains, and getting acquainted with a new routine, I picked up the phone, exchanged pleasantries, and proposed the idea of a real date: would she like to see the movie in question, I asked, fully expecting a positive reply.

Oh, thanks, she said, but she had already seen it – just the other day.

Curious, I asked if it had been with her family. My family and I attended many movies together, I reasoned.

Hesitation on her part before answering, no, it was with a friend.

Her name, I shyly probed, hoping it was a she.

It was not a she, but a he, and it turned out to be my best friend, who just happened to be going to her school, too, now. “He’s nice,” she sighed.

Dripping with both jealousy and disappointment, I said, “Oh, okay.” and that was the end of our call, not to mention the short-lived romance. It would prove to be the end of my friendship with my former best friend too, although I never revealed the reason behind it. I just let new friends and schools slowly draw us apart.

But as I really wanted to see the movie, I asked my brother if he could give me a ride downtown in order to catch the show.

My brother thought it strange that I wanted to see a movie alone, but as I was determined to see the flick, gave me a lift and said he was sorry that he couldn’t accompany me. He had a date himself in a little while.

That hit home, but I did not let on.

And so I remember sitting in the theater alone, a first for me, and dwelling on betrayal on two fronts.

But as the movie unfolded, and the sad story progressed to its final conclusion, I was glad I was by myself that night, as tears quietly ran down my face for Charly, a mouse named Algenon, lost love (albeit a fleeting one), and lost friendship.  

I think that last loss hurt the most, as I had a long time crush on that best friend and suddenly pictured him sitting beside me in that dark movie theater where no one saw me cry; but it was something that I would never tell him either.