I'm Your Man

I'm Your Man

Noel Laflin

3-9-21

Facebook is now suggesting that I might be interested in a dishwashing position.

Well, dear Facebook, I’m your man.

You see, when I was 16, I worked in a Chinese restaurant as a dishwasher – so I come from a world of experience.

As a matter of fact, I had been working there for two weeks already when one night I came in the back door off the alley and was about to announce myself to the fellow I was relieving for the evening shift when I saw that he was adding two cups of some kind of white powder to the dishwashing machine before turning on the wash cycle.

“Wow,” I thought to myself, “Soap. And I always thought it had some kind of automatic soap dispenser built into the dang thing. Huh! Well, what do you know?”

So, after that, I, too, started to add detergent to each wash.

Finally Found His Pants

 Finally Found His Pants

Noel Laflin

3-4-21

My father, like yours no doubt, had a good sense of humor and had a lot of favorite quotes and pet sayings. My sister and I could probably banter back and forth a dozen or more to this day.

But my personal favorite still remains, "This party is getting too wild for me, and as soon as I find my pants, I'm leaving!"

March 4th marks the anniversary of his passing fourteen years ago, or as he probably would have quipped, had he been able, it was the day he finally found his pants.

Keep the Change

Keep the Change

Noel Laflin

3-2-21

The scene hinted of a sense of normalcy, a mother and her daughter standing outside of Albertsons with boxes of Girl Scout cookie's piled high atop a folding table.

It was unexpected, in this time of weird expectations.

But there they were, both in masks, hand sanitizer sitting prominently at one corner of the table.

We were so delighted to see them in this familiar location that I doubled the order after David said one box of Lemonades and one of Shortbread please.

The cute young lady miscalculated and wanted to undercharge me, but quickly thought it over and then got it right.

I now wish she hadn't discovered her error just so I could play the cad and tell her to keep the change.

Left Pocket

 Left Pocket

Noel Laflin

7-27-21

David and I spent ten minutes looking for the cap to the plastic iced tea bottle yesterday.  As the cap is white, I thought it was just hiding somewhere on the white tile counter.

Nope.

Left it on the table when I brought the iced tea to have with lunch?

Nope again.

Checked the top of the refrigerator.

No luck there either.

Finally looked in the kitchen trash container thinking I might have thrown it away by mistake.

Messy, as well as unsuccessful.

Washed my hands after dumpster inspection and absently wiped them on my pants.

Felt a round object in the left pocket.

Do Unto the Least of These

 Do Unto the Least of These

Noel Laflin

2-2-2021

A little female Allen's hummingbird flew into the garage today and couldn't find her way out, even with the garage door being wide open. That's how she came in, thus I figured that's how she'd leave.

No. She became confused and determined to stick to the rafters.

So, I placed a feeder at the end of an eight foot long fruit picking pole, climbed atop the workbench and held the feeder up to where she could see it.

As hummingbirds are attracted to both the colors red and yellow, I thought she might go for it, and she did.

Once she landed on the feeder and began to drink, I slowly lowered the long pole down and gingerly climbed off the workbench. She stayed in place long enough to see the open daylight and make her getaway.

At one point our faces were just inches from one another. They are so amazing from that perspective.

When I was eleven I joined the Boy Scouts, and one of the first things you need to memorize, as well as put into practice, is the Scout slogan: Do a Good Turn Daily.

They never said how big the receiver of said good deed had to be. I wonder if they envisioned hummingbirds?

Wooden Soldier

 

 Wooden Soldier

Noel Laflin

12-17-20

I just read that today is the day that The Nutcracker ballet was performed for the first time in St. Petersburg, Russia (1892). The Czar loved it, but the critics hated it, which reminds me that when I was in the first grade, our school’s Christmas program included a piece from The Nutcracker ballet.

 

Since I was the tallest boy in the class I was chosen to be the wooden toy soldier. As chance would have it, a friend of mine had the outfit needed. Why did Elliot have such an outfit? I have no idea. But as he went to a different school, which was going with another holiday theme apparently, I would not be depriving him of similar Christmas glory. And as no one else in our class had ready access to a cool wooden toy soldier outfit, I was it.

 

As rehearsals were held each afternoon leading up to the big night, I would slip behind the upright piano in the corner of the room and change from me into Mr. Nutcracker. I was always afraid someone would catch me in my underwear as I undressed, so I was quick about the transformation.

 

I guess the pageant was a hit as I have vague memories of peers, parents, and siblings dutifully applauding as I stiffly marched about the stage trying my dandiest to not bump into the tiny ballerinas traipsing all about. As none of us had speaking lines, and I did not knock anybody into the orchestra pit, my first venture into show biz was a solid success.

 

I bet the Czar, had he still been around, would have liked it too. And, to heck with critics.

 

 

 

A Little Bird Told Me

A Little Bird Told Me

Noel Laflin

12-7-20

You know what has really helped me through this year, other than David’s exquisite cuisine, has been photography.

Even when it did not feel safe to venture out further than the supermarket, there was always the backyard and balcony birds to keep me occupied.

When I moved into this cozy place thirty-seven years ago – right about now – what drew me to the location was the location – Orange, a long-established bird sanctuary. That, and the fact that although this is a condo, it came with a backyard and a balcony overlooking the small yard.

Before a stick of furniture was even moved into place inside, the yard took precedence. Ground was overturned, rocks dug up were laid back down to help with drainage, an acacia and two plum trees were planted, a pond was built, a deck laid outside the bedroom door in order to keep the mud out of the house, bulbs, mint, and ferns were planted – and presto, time did the rest.

Opossums and raccoons showed up - as did rabbits and even a turtle once. Squirrels would make their way here twenty years later.

For thirty years I enjoyed the fruit, fish, and flowers mostly. Then I found an old camera just laying around and gathering dust; I had not really used one since college days. As there were no longer cats or dogs roaming the yard, birds came back in curious numbers, especially to drink from and bathe in the fountains established so long ago. They became my practice subjects.

And so they have sustained me ever since.

Even when I have the best intentions of venturing forth most days, sometimes I never even make it past the front door, as something or other

will steal my attention – as did this little guy resting on a backyard bird of paradise bloom. Then one thing leads to another and presto, the sun has set, as it tends to do earlier and earlier this time of year, and you wait to see what tomorrow brings.

So, whether you venture forth or not, for whatever reason – or not, I wish you all the best as we head pell-mell into Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, Christmas, and the New Year, despite a world filled with current uncertainty.

But a little bird has told me that there's hope for 2021.

After all, he is looking up.