Ashes
Noel Laflin
8-2-23
Dear Don:
There's a very large rock in our garden that Tom and I moved here 40 years ago. We had to manhandle that beast from the greenbelt while moving slowly over mounds of dirt and debris, cross the street, enter the threshold of our new condo, bump step-by-step down the stairs (Tom played out rope that was attached to the handles of the sturdy dolly as I sat on my butt easing our cargo down the stairs. Bump, bump, bump. That alone took ten minutes, but worked out just fine in the end), maneuver carefully through a tight hallway (avoiding a large one hundred gallon fish aquarium), then proceed through the bedroom, and out the sliding glass door and into the garden. We finally chose a resting spot, unlashed the bungee cords holding it in place upon the hand trolley and tilted the rock over. It took all our strength to do so as the rock was big and heavy, weighing maybe a couple hundred pounds or thereabouts.
Tom called it Spirit Rock, as it ‘called’ to him when we saw it one night after its excavation near what would eventually become the community pool.
You can see bubbly pock marks all over it as it dates back millions of years ago when the hill we rest up against was once an active volcano, and this guy, along with so many similar but much smaller rocks in our area, were once cooked deep below the Earth, spit out in a fiery blast as lava flowed, cooled and bubbled as it did so, and then laid buried for a very long time - until a couple of boys found it, marveled over it, and moved it, with some great effort and sweat, I might add
When Tom died eleven years later, I took some of his ashes and buried them deep below Spirit Rock.
I did the same today with your brother’s remaining ashes so that the two friends might keep one another company.
In the coolness of the morning, I then planted a small oak seedling up against the rock. It stands about four inches tall presently. I grew the seedling from an acorn that I collected beneath a three hundred year old California Live Oak in Irvine Park last Christmas.
Tom had instructed me, once he knew his time was near, to spread his ashes beneath a similar ancient oak in Ojai, which six of us did. But as there were ashes left over from that day, I brought some home, just as I did Freddy's last August and put them beneath the rock.
I hope you approve of my decision. I originally thought that I would travel to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and disperse the remaining ashes there. But I got to thinking, maybe I would never get there again, and then what?
So, as the old Spirit Rock lies just a few feet from the sago palm that once resided in a half whiskey barrel in your old home in Anaheim, I thought, this was a more prudent resting place. Your mom told me to take that sago, and who says no to Dory? That was 34 years ago, and the once small palm has grown and has been thriving ever since as it is in the ground now and well cared for. So, the proximity of palm, Tom, Freddy, and Spirit Rock made sense to me. And I can rest a little easier now as well.
I am guessing that both Tom and Fred rest easier nowadays too.
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